Phallic Sex Toys

This article will be a spoof on one of my all-time favorite movies.  Our hero begins his day with an outing with his woman, and they’re having a picnic in the middle of the woods. Well, right before they’re about to get down to some frisky business, a dark cloud passes over the sun, and an evil mist begins to rise from the ground. Our hero, who we shall call Brule, and his lady friend, who we will call Sally, take off running. In their haste, they leave behind Sally’s “fun bag” that contained assorted sex toys and scented oils. The mist changes the dildos and vibrators into evil sex toys, and they begin to give chase to Sally and Brule.

Brule and Sally run deeper into the woods, searching for refuge against the now undead adult sex toys. They happen upon a cabin, and right before both make it inside, an evil dildo grabs Sally and drags her screaming into the woods and the mysterious mist. Brule goes heroically after her, but is chased back into the cabin by a gang of evil sex toys. Part two of this adventure will be covered in my next article.