Phallic Sex Toys

Its three years later, and the dildo people have become a fierce and combative lot. Most of them wear full length battledress made of chainmail, making them look like they are wearing some sort of heavy metal condom. Their space exploration of black holes has been halted; instead, all ships have been retrofitted for war. These sex toys mean business.

As they prepare for war, most of these brave adult toys know they may not be coming back home. They plan an all out attack on the people of Earth; intending to bombard Earth’s major cities with a firestorm of golden laser streams, effectively eviscerating any life below.

The invasion day came, and the dildos of the planet prepared for Operation: Golden Shower. Some of the sex toys were nervous, but that was to be expected. War is scary, even for dildos. They broke Earth’s atmosphere, and believe me when I say they caught them completely by surprise. The citizens of Earth scattered as golden lasers rained down from above. As the lasers poured out from the nose of their familiar phallic shaped spaceship, most of the victims strangely died pointing and laughing.